Quest: Big Mama's Mountain
Higher and higher you trek, taking small breaks in between. But soon, you find yourself at the opening of a cave. You can hear the sounds of someone moving objects, and you can feel the heat becoming stronger and you can smell a feint hint of sulphur.
Taking a deep breath, you walk into the cave and gently call out to announce your arrival.
Big Mama: Who there? Who disturb Big Mama? Show self!
A thundering voice echoes through the cave. You quickly begin regretting ever coming up here, but you can hear the sound of coins shifting and falling. Your ears twitch as an abrubt sound of steam hisses followed by the distinct smell of sulfur.
Big Mama: What wrong? You scared? Come closer so Mama may inspect you!!
Her demands echo through the cave, startling you to the bone. Tentatively, you take small steps forward until the lanterns inside reveal a large quadruped gorge. Covered in jewelry from head to tail, she sits upon a pile of coins and treasure- just like Dezzmar described. Her orange eyes peer at you for a moment, looking you up and down. After some contemplation, a smirk quickly crawls across the gorge's face.
Big Mama: They call me Big Mama! This Big Mama’s home. Why you come to Big Mama? Have something to share?
The awe of her presence leaves you so speechless that you don’t even register what she said to you. The female thumps her chest with a grunt.
Big Mama: Come inside! Big Mama cannot be bothered to get up! Must save energy for more… important things.
You fidget with your hands for a moment, taking baby steps forward so that you have to look up towards Big Mama. She seems somewhat amused by this.
Big Mama: BWAHAH! So small and baby. Teeny steps you make.
Well, at least she thinks you're funny. Better to be on the good side of such a large… woman. Your eyes briefly wander around, admiring her lavish collection of shiny stones and golden coins. She seems to notice your gaze.
Big Mama: You admire Big Mama's treasure, hmmm? You hear of how to obtain a piece, hmmmmm?
You shrug with a nod. Looking at the gold and gems below you, you mention how generous she is to share her wealth. All that mountain climbing will be worth it for a piece of this fine treasure! Big Mama just looks at you… confused.
Big Mama: You want gold? No share gold. Not unless… Big Mama can trade for something much more valuable.
You blink, apprehensive to ask what that thing is. Big Mama looks at you confused for a moment before bursting out into hearty laughter.
Big Mama: BWAHAH! You are hilarious virgin, yes! Big Mama much amused!
….Oh. You now realize why Dezzmar was talking about. Welp.